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Ode Of Adieu To The No Longer True, New Testament

Domesticated DogWe have been so blessed to have progressed to such a state of complete knowledge in our very own day, and to have experienced untold ability to fathom the deep things of the Spirit that we have become quite a remarkable people. The gateway to knowledge has opened so wide that all enter in. In the New Testament we read the expression “Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” Now, what do we actually see? If we look no further than our own city, town, or neighborhood, the “way” has become a lovely boulevard or a super highway, so wide has it become that it can not possibly get any wider. We are blessed above all creation to have this “way” in which we can all now travel together, thanks to our most glorious heroes of the day, Brian Mclaren, Doug Padgett, and oh yes, you too Rick. The entrance into this “way” can get no wider because now it allows the entrance of all men, even all abreast, at the very same time. You see what I mean, the N. T. is adieu, it is now no longer true.

To who’s credit can we bestow such a grand award? Who will step forward and receive the prize? I can just see Mr. Schuller’s chest inflating, and Rick Warren trimming his goatee. Don’t even imagine that one man alone should be honored, not even a whole troop or company, but the entire human race. Father and Son and the Holy Ghost have greatly underestimated their creation, and did not foresee this vastness, or believed in such perfectibility, of such a persistent progression of pomp. To the extent of man’s perfection is the same extent that the New Testament is no longer potent.

Are we not all now Christians. The road is wide and wonderful and its entrance magnificent, and our coming forth a great parade. I can’t stop here, let’s go on yet further. In fact, is it not so that the pagan, witch, and warlock, and the average downtrodden atheist, would-be prophets, and prognosticators all, to a certain degree, and to such an extent, are all likewise Christian with no need to repent? To a certain degree, and to such an extent the New Testament is therefore now extinct.

Now, since our goal is to show that the New Testament is no longer in accordance with truth, we must take exceptional care so as not to fall prey to falsity in pursuit of the fact. Let us be careful that no hypotheses or proof, or even suggestion, in connection, escape our deliberation. But, there is higher ground still. We mustn’t assume that our knowing is good knowledge, therefore the matter must be referred to the specialist. Could it be through our ineptitude and ignorance that there be not among us some of the higher form of the cultivated, and domesticated animals, at least the nobler ones, like the dog, horse, or cow that have shown indications of a Christian spirit? This can not be overlooked, it is not unlikely or improbable. Consider with me if you will the likelihood of this advanced power of the Christian man and Christian woman, living in a Christian nation, where Christians and Christianity now exert such force that it is very likely that this has an effect on our domesticated animals? Why, we see and hear of nothing but Christians: protestant, orthodox, emergent, seeker and martyrs for the “truth” from shore to shore, and so much more, it is of utmost importance and can not be ignored. According to both veterinarians and the clergy the fact is substantiated how Jacob obtained spotted lambs with his influence by twigs alone. It can be shown Christianly how our greater influence can effect the more cultured character of the domesticated animal. I do not want to appear headstrong on this point since I am not of the cloth or the fur profession, but that my knowledge was passed on to me by committee composed both of the clergy and veterinarians. It is firmly established then that the results are well founded that domestic animals living in a Christian nation will produce Christian dogs, cats, horses, and cows. Just the thought of this overwhelms me with awe. We can now be sure to the greatest possible extent and it is now very safe to assume that the New Testament has out lived its usefulness and has ceased to be true.

Ah, Thou Savior of the World, when Thou saidst with great concern: “When the Son of man cometh, shall He find Faith on the earth?” And when Thou didst bow Thy head in death, then didst Thou least of all think that Thy expectations were to be exceeded to such a degree, and that the human race would in such a pretty and touching way render the New Testament no longer true, and Thy significance almost doubtful; for such nice domesticated creatures may certainly also need a Savior!

SK

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